I just climbed Kilimanjaro with two of my nephews. Today I am, as far as my physician and I know, very healthy, with no chronic illness. I’m neither asking for more time than is likely nor foreshortening my life. After I die, my survivors can have their own memorial service if they want-that is not my business. And I don’t want any crying or wailing, but a warm gathering filled with fun reminiscences, stories of my awkwardness, and celebrations of a good life. Indeed, I plan to have my memorial service before I die. And hopefully, I will not have too many mental and physical limitations. I will have pursued my life’s projects and made whatever contributions, important or not, I am going to make. I will have seen my grandchildren born and beginning their lives. My children will be grown and in the midst of their own rich lives. We are no longer remembered as vibrant and engaged but as feeble, ineffectual, even pathetic.īy the time I reach 75, I will have lived a complete life. It transforms how people experience us, relate to us, and, most important, remember us. It robs us of our creativity and ability to contribute to work, society, the world. It renders many of us, if not disabled, then faltering and declining, a state that may not be worse than death but is nonetheless deprived. In short, it deprives us of all the things we value.īut here is a simple truth that many of us seem to resist: living too long is also a loss. It deprives us of experiences and milestones, of time spent with our spouse and children. They are certain that as I get closer to 75, I will push the desired age back to 80, then 85, maybe even 90. To convince me of my errors, they enumerate the myriad people I know who are over 75 and doing quite well. They think that I can’t mean what I say that I haven’t thought clearly about this, because there is so much in the world to see and do. This preference drives my daughters crazy. That’s how long I want to live: 75 years. This article was featured in One Story to Read Today, a newsletter in which our editors recommend a single must-read from The Atlantic, Monday through Friday.
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